these past 2 years have been interesting, to say the least. in many ways i feel as though i've regressed, but in reality, i just backed up so that i can get a running start, a catapult to my future Self. today i spent alot of time trying to make sense of the changes i've gone through and the subsequent lessons i've learned. even that act of writing provided a place for reflection; i hadn't written pen to paper in such a long time. it used to be such a vital exercise for me, but blogging took over. for me, they are not one in the same. with blogging, as honest as i try to be, i'm still holding back. perhaps holding some things just for me. perhaps hiding other things from Me.

one of the lessons i wrote about (and am willing to share) is about self-love. or Self-love. and yes there is a difference. i've learned that self-love is paramount. even when you think you've attained it, having those "attic moments" as iyanla vanzant refers to in her book "in the meantime", it is still essential to continue edifying it. it's not enough to say "yeah i love myself" yet fail to reinforce that on a daily basis. if at any point, you put it on the back burner, thinking that it will continue to "cook" itself, everything will and does crumble. however, the beauty (and irony) of it all is that self-love is only an arms distance away ready to be recaptured at a moment's notice. it may be bruised, tarnished, wrinkled, even shredded, but it's never destroyed. yall remember the first principle of physics right..

in that lesson, i also realized (better yet remembered) that self-love happens on two levels- to the self and the Self. your human (and scarred) side and your Divine self. "and s/he made man in his own image".. i dont think the process of self/Self-love are different. when you love yourself, you honor the Divinity within you. so many times we separate the two, but look in the face of any baby and you remember how Spirit is so clearly in us when we are born and we forget that as we grow older.

I hope to instill these lessons in LA as early as possible so that she will always be able to access Self. and love her fiercely.