Coming Into My Own Responses
Here’s my participation in the Coming Into My Own Blog Carnival. Here is the original post and directions. In order to participate you have to: To participate, I ask you to follow three simple rules:
Rule #1: Post on your own blog the answers to at least 3 of the questions below
Rule #2: Link your post back to this one and leave a comment below. That’s how others can find you!
Rule #3: Tag at least one other blogger in your post that you want to participate.
I am tagging a bunch of y'all to participate (though anyone is free to join)
Funky Femme Feminist, Chrissybell, Ms. J Boogie, Minister of Style, Makita at Getting Fabulous, Saliha at Azizatu Nafsiha, Enigma, J. Suga, Poetry’s Truth, The Next Beyond
I can’t wait to read your responses! Here are mine. I’m answering all 7, though you only have to do at least 3.
1- How have you grown, changed, or evolved from the woman you used to be? My confidence and self-esteem has ebbed and flowed ever since I can remember. It seems like I am my most confident and Self-attuned when I’m single and somehow lose that when I enter a romantic relationship, I lose all that in the attempts of being the person I assume the other wants me to be. The irony in that is that it never occurred to me that it's Me they fell in love with in the first place. But I digress. I am now at the point in my life where I've learned and am living that it doesn't have to be either/ or, Self or relationship. It's not easy, especially for a recovering co-dependent BUT the fact that I'm actively living a more balanced being is proof to me that I'm growing.
2- Describe a situation, challenge, moment when you realized you aren’t fully the person you used to be this time last year? I knew that I had grown when my therapist asked me to re-read homework assignments I had completed when I began. There was a section where I had to list activities and people I could engage that might vented me. It was amazing to me because most of those connections are now regular habits, and I forgot that I had been intentional about those and even more startled that I wasn't engaging in those things that are so central to my Self now.
3- What have you learned (or rediscovered) about yourself in the last 90 days? I've learned that writing is truly my passion. It's always been something that I've done, but I didn't really value it as a spiritual practice. I now realize that writing is how I get to the truth of what I'm feeling and that this truth-seeking manifests and attracts change. Some pray. Others meditate. I write.
4- Considering where you are now, what advice would you give to your teenage self that would give her permission to live life fully? I spent all of my teen years (and then a whole lot more) wanting to be loved, wondering if I would ever truly be loved in the romantic, Hollywood style. If I could whisper back to those years, I would tell her to spend some time discovering what I truly love and am passionate about. I would encourage her to fall deliriously in love with her self so she had a clear sense of how she should be treated, and so that she could attract someone who was also Self-attuned.
5- What is something you do to regain courage when the fear sets in? I struggle with fear, like I suspect many of you do. While I've developed strategies for dealing with specific, imminent fear, I am still working on addressing the lingering, oppressive ones. I have too much to share on this, so I'll put it in a separate post.
6- Who is a woman who inspires you? Goodness, I'm inspired by so many of my foremothers as they embrace so many of the qualities I hope to engender in myself. I am inspired by Iyanla's faithfulness to live her calling in the midst of her own challenges. I am inspired by grandmother's quiet power. She was so graceful and a woman of few words, but we all adored her live and service despite many obstacles in her early life. I am inspired by the women I call friends, as we carve out our unique spaces in the world throwing off limits and expectations.
7- When you close your eyes and see yourself living your dreams, what do you see? Living my dream looks me being a well paid writer and one that works to empower other women to remember Who they are. It looks like me having creative freedom and living that passion daily. It looks like me being materially comfortable and generous.
