Life Beyond Survival: 5 Steps for Becoming Your Truest Self
So many Black women spend their lives focused on survival, for both practical and generational reasons.
No one ever tells you about life beyond survival.
We get glimpses of having peace, joy, and pleasure: Those moments with family at the cookouts, celebrating and vacationing with your homegirls. Some people find it on Sunday mornings in church. Others on Saturday nights with the red cup in the sky.
Solange even wrote a song about it.
“I tried to drink it away
I tried to put one in the air
I tried to dance it away
I tried to change it with my hair
I ran my credit card bill up
Thought a new dress make it better
I tried to work it away
But that just made me even sadder”
But what does it look like to have sustained ease, peace at your fingertips, radical spiritual connection, settled serenity?
Few of us had anyone teach us THAT phase of life.
There are 5 keys to living full as the full person you are designed to be.
1. You have to know who you are as a spiritual being
To know who you are as a spiritual being means understanding that you are more than just your body, your name, your title, your service to others. It’s about discovering the deeper, inner part of you that makes you unique and connects you to your Ancestors and Creative Source in the Universe.
2. You have to know how to master your energy
Mastering your energy means learning how to stay centered in life’s storm and also using your magic to meet your needs. It’s about using ritual to ground, restore, cleanse, and protect.
3. You have to know how to connect with your inner guidance and spirit
Connecting with your inner guidance and spirit means listening to your gut feelings, your intuition, your highest Self. It’s about knowing who your Spirit Team is and how to access them. It’s about trusting yourself and knowing that you have a special wisdom to guide you through life.
4. You have to know how to express yourself and manifest your desires
Expressing yourself and manifesting your desires means showing the world who you really are and going after what you truly want. It’s about being honest about your dreams. It’s about mixing the magic and the mundane to make shit shake.
5. You have to know, heal, and integrate your inner child
Knowing, healing, and integrating your inner child involves telling the full truth about your past and forgiving yourself. It’s about releasing the past’s grip on your life. It’s about honoring the past and honoring its presence in your life.
If you reached this far in the article, then I’m probably talking to you.
There’s something in your spirit that is sick and tired of the okie doke, claustrophobic box that society keeps trying to put you in.
You are ready for liberation.
You are called to:
Be unapologetic in your truths, joys, desires, contradictions, and intersections
Thrive in joy, pleasure, and satisfaction
Use your voice and unique talents to change our world
Hold space for the next generation
Stand on the shoulders of our ancestors as we live the lives they dreamed
Revel in true, authentic sisterhood
If this is indeed you, take the first step to learning who you authentically are.
Take this quiz:
What Is An Elder In Hoodoo?
All you have to do is open any social media app and you'll be bombarded with a plethora of people claiming authority in Hoodoo. Sometimes it's as innocuous as an account sharing tips and images. In its most harmful form, people are calling themselves leaders and elders who haven't earned the title, and they are from exhibiting the traits of a valid Hoodoo elder.
But what exactly is an elder and how do you find a legit one?
I'm glad you asked.
Here's the TLDR version: Elders are family and community leaders who have wisdom, expertise, and honorable character. They are chosen by the community, not self-titled.
Let's get into it.
What is an elder?
In the Black community, we know who are elders are and we know it's far more than an age-driven title. We may not have had a specific conversation outlining the criteria, but our instinct and experience tell which respected person fits the bill.
(Here's a hint, Kinfolk. That instinct and feeling have a name. It's your OrÍ. More on that later).
I've taken the liberty to put into words what our intuition and just "knowing" say about what makes a person an elder.
An elder is a respected, older person with experience and wisdom that provides guidance.
They provide direct instruction or demonstrate what to do/how to be through their modeling.
They demonstrate good character.
They provide wise counsel.
They are the conduits of ancestral wisdom.
They have mastered their area of expertise regardless of how mundane or how esoteric
They possess a connection to the spirit world that allows them to offer guidance, healing, and protection to those who seek their assistance
They're keepers of sacred knowledge, passed down through generations, and are held in high esteem for their abilities to provide insight, solutions, and blessings.
Protectors and guardians of the community
When you look at this list, which people in your immediate family and community (digital counts too, to an extent) come to mind? Can you see the difference between an older person and an elder? Can you tell why some people who call themselves an elder don't fit the bill?
Now let's dig into some of the big four questions that people in Hoodoo often ask.
Here are the 4 big questions that people often ask.
Does age matter?
Yes and no. Age is usually related to wisdom and experience, with the belief that the older people are, the more wisdom and experience they have. Wisdom requires insight and self-reflection, along with the ability to influence those same qualities in others. Therefore, older people can have a lot of experience, but not a lot of wisdom.
On the flip side, younger people can have a lot of wisdom, but not a lot of experience. For those folks, I would call them leaders, but not yet elders. They are on the road to eldership and might be Big Cuz, Auntie, Unc, etc. Those titles definitely overlap with eldership, so I suggest you trust your gut (OrÍ) about who you call an elder. You know when you know, leading us to the next question.
How does one become an elder?
The family and community decide when a person is an elder. Each family and community has their own rituals and practices for determining eldership, even when they aren't consciously aware. Perhaps, a person has been deemed an elder when they're asked to lead the family prayer. Maybe they're the ones everyone consults for a big decision. They're the one that holds the family stories. Or maybe they're the ones you go to for prayer and laying on of hands.
In the community, there are other signs of a person crossing into Eldership. They are moved to the Mother Board, either church-based or community-based. They are the ones who bless the new babies and who are consulted about community matters. They are the ones who have the last say and people naturally defer to them because of their wisdom not out of fear. They usually have a title that everyone addresses them as, kin or not. They are Mother Moore or Mama Harriet. They are Mister Roy or Deacon Brown. You get the point.
The key is an elder is one who the community and family elevate; It's not the self-designated person. Usually, those who call themselves an elder before being promoted by the community are signaling inflated egos, which are contrary to leadership.
What if they don't consider themselves Hoodoo? Are they still an elder?
Hoodoo is woven into the fabric of African-Americanness. It was our culture and religion before being syncretized with Christianity, and it's the way we do things even if we don't know why. Because of that, we all practice Hoodoo in some style even when we don't realize it.
With that being said, here are four categories of Hoodoo practice, each with infinite offshoots.
Rootwork and healing (herbs, agriculture, medicine, midwifery, etc)
Divination (prayer, prophecy reading cards or bones, bibliomancy, etc)
Dance and language (ring shouts, jook joints, footwork, line dances, etc)
Spirit possession and water immersion (catching the Spirit, baptism, etc)
These are just some of the traditional components of Hoodoo. There are so many more. Your elders may have expertise in these domains and others. Even if they don't publicly or consciously ascribe to Hoodoo, they still have gifts and wisdom in their areas of expertise that you can learn from and apply.
Where do I find elders?
What's the common theme you've been reading so far? Community and family. Those are always the first place for you to seek out elders, even if they don't call themselves Hoodoo. They are the place where you learn about making tinctures for your sick baby or what your Great-Granny 'nem used to do at funerals. However, I realize everyone doesn't have the luxury of close kinship ties or connections with their family. This is where you get creative and do the work of connecting with a community, digital or in-person. You will need to get out of your comfort zone and start connecting with your neighbors, visiting the community garden, volunteering at the senior center, and making yourself available for an elder to show themselves. As the saying goes, growth happens outside of your comfort zone.
As a special note, remember that in the Black community, family is not just your blood relatives. It's the people that call themselves family, whether it's your play cousin or the neighborhood lady that used to take care of everyone's babies.
Take the Next Step
Hopefully, this article has cleared up the lingering questions you've had about Hoodoo Elders and why we put respect on their names. I hope it's also alleviated any anxiety you've had about having access to these community treasures and has sparked a nudge in you to seek out their wisdom and expertise.
If you are ready to dive deeper, I encourage you to take the "Who Is Your Hoodoo Spirit Guide" quiz and schedule a spiritual reading with me to get clear about your life path.
Further Recommended Reads and Resources:
"Favorite Books about Black Spirituality and Deconstructing Faith"
"Black folks have always partaken in African Traditional Religion, even when we didn’t know it."
"Roots, Hoodoo and Conjuration: The First African American Religion"
"Hoodoo is a Sovereign ATR and Must be Respected as Such or Else"
Favorite Books About Black Spirituality and Deconstructing Faith
As a follow up to my list of 12 Must Read Books by Black Women, here is a list of my FAVORITE books about Black spirituality and deconstructing your faith. Click the links to read the description.
General/New Thought/Deconstructing Spirituality
A New Earth- Eckhart Tolle
When God Was a Woman- Merlin Stone
The Magdalen Manuscript- Tom Kenyon and Judi Sion
The Woman with the Alabaster Jar- Margaret Starbird
The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success- Deepak Chopra
Feng Shui your Life- Jayme Barrett
Women Who Run with the Wolves- Clarissa Pinkola Estes
Black-Centered
Choosing Healing- Aleia McDaniel
31 Days of Self-Care- Aleia McDaniel
Mules and Men- Zora Neale Hurston
African Goddess Initiation- Abiola Abrams
The Spirit of Intimacy- Sobonfu Some
Tapping the Power Within- Iyanla Vanzant
Mojo Workin: The Old African American Hoodoo System- Katrina Donald Hazard
Jambalaya- Luisah Teish
Pussy Prayers- Black Girl Bliss
Tell My Horse: Voodoo and Life in Haiti and Jamaica- Zora Neale Hurston
Fiction
Pieces of Her- Aleia McDaniel
Mama Day- Goria Naylor
Hitting A Straight Lick with a Crooked Stick- Zora Neale Hurston
The Alchemist- Paulo Coelho
The Second Line- K. Zauditu Selassie
Notes:
Bolded books are by Black Authors
I will receive a FEW pennies for using these affiliate links to purchase the books. Thanks for helping a sistah out!
When You Feel Disconnected From God
When I was 12, I went through a formal Rites of Passage process. During one of our rituals, our elders asked each girl what we believed about God.
I often felt two steps behind the other girls. Smart but not smart enough. Decent looking, but not put together enough. I could blend in, but I always studied the social interactions, practiced in my head, but still couldn't quite get it.
But as clear as water, truth descended on me.
I stood in that circle and looked out at the great sequioyas and spoke.
"God is in mostly within. It's also nature. God is just what each of us call It. Religion is how we make sense of it."
I was sweating under my armpits because I knew this didn't align to my Christian upbringing. It was silent and no one responded. But the truth poured out then and it is so now, more than 30 years from that moment.
We seek God outside of our selves and this is the source of our problem.
We don't see our own divinity. We don't have connection with our Ori.
When we know that God is both external AND within. When we know that we carry the ocean and the storms and the elements of earth and fire within us. When we know that breath and air are within. When we know that we carry creation within us.
When we know these and KNOW these, then we will begin to cultivate relationship with our Selves.
Then we know that venerating Orishas and Lwas and Ancestors and Angels and even the Most High can never be complete or enough if we are separate from ourselves. Then we know that we can never be connected fully to Source, co-create with Source, carry the truths of Source if we do not first and concurrently have relationship with Self.
I've chided myself for being inconsistent with my spiritual practice. I've sought community and rules and validation time and time again. When I've stopped beating myself up for this perception of disconnect, I've been able to step back and investigate what is really getting in the way. Spoiler alert: It's not lack of time or materials or communities or rules.
That moment in the woods 30 years ago comes back to me:
"God is in mostly within. It's also nature. God is just what each of us call It. Religion is how we make sense of it."
So I challenge myself and you with this:
Did you know that YOU are the altar and the temple?
Are you honoring your Self as much?
Are you attempting to connect externally more than you are connecting internally?
Do you know what it is that you're seeking outside of you?
What do you need to shift?
What and how do you need to cultivate your relationship with and honor of Self?
Dreams as Spiritual Technology
Do you dream? How do you cultivate your dream world? How do you bring the gifts from slumber to the waking world?
I’ve had the gift of sight since I was young child. Years before I knew what “clairvoyant” meant or had my first divination, I had the ability to read a situation and receive spiritual messages about it. I could see things before they happened, too. I spoke in my podcast episode 8 about the time I was in 3rd grade and told my classmate’s show-and-tell story about his stuffed rabbit before he had got the chance. On top of this, my dreams have always been a gift
Sometimes I marvel at how much my dreams have come true. I started writing them down, both because I was an avid journaler (much of what I write, manifests) and because I wanted proof that a I had dreamt a situation that was coming to past.
My dream world is potent. It’s another world in itself, just on the other side of the veil. In it, I time travel, do ritual, divine, and listen to my ancestors whose names I didn’t even know. In fact, a particular divinatory method was revealed to me in a dream, and it’s part of what drove me a religious cult. (Listen to podcast episode 6 for that).
For a long time, I resisted sharing this gift with others. I felt “weird” and didn’t know how to trust my own Orí to accept and interpret what I was seeing.
But not anymore.
My dreams are the connection to my highest self, the voice of my ancestors, a tool for liberation. The more I learned to trust my own Orí and distinguish Her voice from mine, the more confident in the messages, ritual, and prophecy that were revealed. I didn’t get to this place overnight though. It took work and sacrifice. It took being still and doing my own healing.
For the past year or so, I’ve been offering spiritual readings and dream interpretation to people beyond my family and friends. It’s my honor to share my spiritual gifts with you. These readings are designed for Black folks who need assistance with dream interpretation, a specific situation they’re dealing with, a burning question, connection with ancestors, and more.
Book your reading today with link in bio or www.aleiamcdaniel.com/spiritual-consultation.
(Moon/Dream from Grandma’s Baby Black Gold Lenormand @grandmababyapothecary)
Remembering: "You your best thing"
"You your best thing, Sethe. You are."- Paul D, Beloved by Toni Morrison
Confession:
One thing I’ve done as a Black woman is look externally for validation and permission and instruction. While that tendency helped me meet financial goals and climb the career ladder, it often left me feeling afraid of my own voice, unsure about my own desires, not trusting my own power.
However,
One way I found through all of this murkiness was to study ME. Literally. I go back in my journals, look for themes, take note of habits and rituals that have served me, get still, and listen to my Orí. Through all of that, I’ve gained a powerful connection to Source, to my Ancestors, to my Self, to MY power. I’ve discovered that I have the muthafuckin JUICE.
Why am I sharing this?
Because we all stumble and forget who we are. Too many of us believe that suffering is noble and will lead to “earning blessings.” So many of us look to gurus and coaches and mediums to tell us what is already inside of us. Yes, those are all GREAT tools (hell, I’m a coach and diviner myself) but nothing, NOT ONE THING, can replace you listening, learning, and loving your own Head.
Like Paul D told Sethe when she was mourning the loss of her “beloved” daughter and said that she was the best part of herself: “You your best thing.”
Just for today, remind yourself of your own truth and your own voice.
I hope I’m not preaching to myself. Touch your neighbor and repeat after me: I am my own plug.
Cue the organ and pass the collection plate.
Want to learn more about what Hoodoo is and isn’t?
Check out the class below!
Learn what Hoodoo is and isn’t, unlearn some misconceptions, and gain insight about the Black Church and Hoodoo.
Tips for Dealing With Chronic Stress
I've been thinking about how “mindset” work doesn’t work if you’re chronically stressed. And how often that chronic stress isn’t your fault or due to some failure in you.
YOU DESERVE PEACE!
Ideally, we would want to move away from chronically stressful situations. But we know that's not always possible because patriarchy, because capitalism, because racism. You get the point.
Here are some coping tips that I actually use. Scroll down my Hoodoo History class details to learn even more ways to BE in this world.
Tips for Chronic Stress
Talk to your medical provider (if you have access).
Seek out ways to calm your amygdala (the part of your brain responsible for flight, fight, or freeze). Some ideas- taking slow walks, saying NO often, sitting in a cool, dark place for 15 minutes.
Look for what you can simplify in life.
Take a shower and let the water run over your head.
Pray
Write a letter to your ancestors asking for what you need. Pour your heart out to them. They can handle it.
Deep breaths. Set your timer to take deep breaths every hour.
Take your vitamins. Vitamin D, B-complex, and magnesium are my go-tos.
Take your meds. I wrote in the blog post, “Black Women and Antidepressants” about finally accepting meds for depression and anxiety.
Comment below: What do you do to cope with chronic stress?
When the Spiritual Community Has Burned You
In Episode 13 of Aleia’s Hot Take, I discuss dealing with being burned by the spiritual community.
Too many of us left the Xtian church because of abuse, narcissism, lies. Then we found ourselves being burned in the SAME WAY in these spiritual and ATR communities. To say that it's devastating and traumatic is an UNDERSTATEMENT.
At the end of my last live podcast, I was asked how does a person go about learning to trust the spiritual community after they've been burned. In this excerpt, I share what I learned about narcissism and spiritual abuse through therapy and from my Ori, after leaving a popular cult leader myself. I also share some practical tips about moving forward.
Did you find this clip helpful? Drop a below and share it on your socials!
New Class Alert!!
What we're NOT about to do is "forgive our enemies"
On Spiritual Bypassing and Gaslighting
On Aleia's Hot Take, I empower Black women on their journey for self love, healing, wholeness, and liberation in 15 minutes or less. In episode 2, I discuss why the concept of "forgiving your enemies" is dangerous as fuck. Check this out while you consider letting Re-Thug-icans slide for the past 4 years.
Today I'm going to talk about spiritual bypassing and gaslighting. First, let me breakdown what spiritual bypassing is. John Welwood created the term, defining it as
using “spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep personal, emotional ‘unfinished business,’ to shore up a shaky sense of self, or to belittle basic needs, feelings, and developmental tasks. (Toward a Psychology of Awakening)
In layperson's speak, it's the tendency to avoid real healing, real processing, and real emotions in order to feel like how one feels like they are "supposed to."
We often see this behavior coupled with gaslighting, another psychological phenomenon where a person tries to convince another person that what they see as their reality simply isn't so. That person then uses manipulation to maintain control over that person's feelings. Read up on the 1944 film Gaslight for more details.
To distinguish between the two, spiritual bypassing is what a person does to themselves and gaslighting is what an oppressor does to someone else. They typically go hand in hand.
Sounds familiar?
This discussion needs to be had in the wake of this US presidential election cycle. Spiritual bypassing and gaslighting are what we're seeing as some folks suggest "moving on" from Trump's tyranny, and folks advise forgiving his supporters. Spiritual bypassing and gaslighting describe how Black people always rush to forgive those who cause us harm.
We see this behavior particularly encouraged by Black churches.
When a spiritual organization tries to manipulate and control their members by telling them that what they experience is not true, resulting in is membership feeling guilty for having human emotions, this is gaslighting. We see this particularly when churches teach that one is supposed to pray for their enemy, their abuser.
The humanity of the abuser as a "child of God" is prioritized over the humanity of the victim.
Here are a few examples: Black women being the primary supporters of male dominated ministries that teach them to be a man's peace while he's out there gallivanting with the Jezebel (I see you John Gray). Black women supporting their incestuous brothers and marrying pedophiles instead of aiding the victims (I see you Nikki Minaj). Black women who are cast out of their families for choosing not to forgive the abusers in their home (I see you Black families at Thanksgiving).
In each of these scenarios, the victim bore the responsibility of forgiving their abuser instead of receiving the care, support, and validation they deserved. The only "tool" they were given was how to bypass their own humanity in order to forgive their abuser.
And let's not talk about how the abusers' behavior is blamed on the "devil," further absolving him of responsibility.
Black women are particular targets of this complex abuse.
I read a Facebook post that summarized how Black women declined social services they were entitled because those services required that no man (husband, boyfriend) be in the home. To keep her family intact and to be in solidarity with the perceived "heads of the household," many Black women did not accept services they qualified for despite being called "welfare queens" and despite white women being the largest bloc of welfare recipients.
In return for loyalty, this article shows that Black women are killed by their male partners more frequently than any other group of women.
“Black women who were living with their partner were six times more likely to experience severe domestic violence when compared to their dating and married counterparts.”
“In 2018, Black women were murdered by men at nearly three times the rate as White women.”
Despite these and more statistics, Black women have literally been taught to identify with and prioritize their oppressors.
So what happens to the anger, frustration, and pain that the victim feels?
Pray is all the church says. Pray for it to go away. And if that doesn't work, it's because the victim didn't try hard enough or have enough faith. That sin, they will say, will keep you away from "the glory of God,"
Celie: This life be over soon. Heaven last always.
Miss Sophia: You better bash Mister's head open and think about heaven later.
With this message of having faith, forgiving abusers, and holding out for a heavenly reward, Black women are taught to spiritually bypass their feelings. With this, Black churches and leaders gaslight Black women.
Where do we go from here?
I can't address the problem without bringing a solution.
The first couple of solutions are obvious.
People need to be called out and called in about the harm and violence of spiritual bypassing and gaslighting. Abusers need to be held accountable by the legal system and by the community. Black women and children need to be defended and protected at all cost.
But for you, the victim, what now?
First, call your churches into question
Examine what messages your churches and leaders are teaching you about how to interpret and perceive your lived experience as a Black woman. Ask yourself who benefits from their messaging and why. Are the messaging you're receiving allowing the abuser to move forward with acceptance and impunity? Are you only gaining provisional tolerance at best?
Second, learn to embrace the fullness of your humanity
Know that the wholeness of who you are is valid. Your perceptions are valid. The full range of human emotions you have are valid. You are made up of the light and the shadow, both sides are necessary and valuable.
Also know that you have the right to defend yourself against harm, abuse, and minimizing. You have the right because your humanity is valuable and that of your children who are watching and learning are valuable.
You are called to break the generational curse of placating, praying for, and forgiving your enemies.
Found this post helpful?
Do me a favor and purchase "Choosing Healing," thirteen lessons about healing and reconciling your shadow side.
I would also love it if you can comment below how this article helps you and share it with a friend.
We're all we got, and I'm here for YOU, Black woman.
In liberation,
Aleia
Overcome Your Money Story- Healing Financial Trauma
Let’s face it. Most people are living paycheck to check and this COVID-19 pandemic is making finances even more precarious.
I’m not going to gaslight you into believing that your bank account balance is entirely your fault.
I can write a whole diatribe about Wall Street, the top 1%, systemic racism, and capitalism posing as democracy.
If I wrote about that, you will feel helpless and defeated about your ability to recover from your financial situation.
Instead, I want to focus what IS in your control— your money story.
What is a money story?
A person’s money story is the internal narrative and set of beliefs they’ve come to understand about wealth, poverty, and a person’s predisposition to either one. This includes financial trauma they’ve experienced, as well as generational “curses” around money that’s been passed down.
(See my article, “Generational Curses: How to End Trauma with Practice, Work, and Ritual.”)
You can overcome your money story by noticing how you use it, by doing “shadow work” to uproot it, and by developing new habits. Read more to learn how. @heyymrsmcdaniel
What are 4 ways your money story shows up?
I wrote a comprehensive article, “What Your Money Habits Reveal About You.” In it, I break down 4 revelations that can be related to one’s:
✔️ Problem solving skills
✔️Self-esteem
✔️Spiritual relationships
✔️Walking in your purpose
What it is not: It is not an indictment on those that do not earn a living wage. That’s capitalism, greed, and systemic oppression’s fault.
What can you do about it today?
Do preliminary shadow work: Download your copy of Choosing Healing, 13 lessons to know, start, stop, and continue as you embark on your healing journey.
Skip the line: Add your name to this list for early access (and special pricing) for the downloadable workshop, First 5 Steps for Overcoming Your Money Story.
I can’t wait to see your choice and read your comments below!
In liberation,
Aleia
Choosing Healing guides you through 13 specific lessons and exercises to address your personal roadblock once and for all.
In my early 30s, I was stressed out and at my breaking point.
My world fell apart, and I had to figure out how to rebuild. For the first time in my adult life, I had time and extra income and I was STILL burnt out. I realize that *I* was the issue-- not my circumstances, not my relationships, not my finances, not the weather. It was me. Because I've been blessed with the gifts of teaching and writing, I was able to journal my way through that experience and develop a process of healing that truly works.
My credit improved by more than 100 points
My food intolerances went away
My relationships were restored
Too many more blessings to name
Don't get me wrong. I'm not selling a get rich, get skinny, and get married plan. But what I am offering is the chance to finally heal your issues, so that you experience the abundance that is your Divine birthright.
Generational Curses: How to end trauma using practice, work, and ritual
On Aleia's Hot Take, I empower Black women on their journey for self love, healing, wholeness, and liberation in 15 minutes or less. In episode 4, I generational curses-- what they are and how to break them. Read this article in honor of #HoodooHeritageMonth.
If you have grown up in the Black community, you've heard about generational curses. In the traditional Black church, generational curses are seen as something that "the devil" did to your family, and that curse gets passed down from generation to generation.
A more useful way to define "generational curse" is to name it as the trauma that is transmitted from one era to subsequent generations.
It's common knowledge that people's behavior are the result of learned and observed habits. In general, people do what they see. Therefore, trauma leads to specific reactions and behaviors that get taught to future generations. That's one form of a "generational curse." Other scientific study backs this phenomena.
Science also demonstrates that trauma changes how our bodies respond to stimuli, and studies have delved into how trauma can even change a person's DNA.(1) Because each person inherits half their DNA from each of their biological parents, it's probable that trauma is passed down genetically.
The "curse" from prior generations becomes a cruel inheritance that impacts how individuals interact with the world and how the see themselves.
Now, let's be clear. While individual folks don't choose the trauma they inherit, it is possible to break the cycle of maladaptive and painful reactions.
Tip 1- Self love heals the past
When a person practices self love, they have the ability to heal not only themselves but the generations before and after. Self love disrupts encoded trauma and sends a message back to one's traumatized ancestors and inner child that there is respect for the ways they've had to endure, struggle, and strive, but that those maladaptive ways of being are no longer necessary. Self love is both a "thank you" and invitation to finally rest in peace.
Because matter is neither lost or gain, one's ancestors are both within and beyond them. As a person heals, they are quite literally healing previous generations too.
Tip 2- Self love heals your progeny
One's healing journey not only disrupts the path and creates space to define one's personal journey, it creates a new legacy for their offspring. First, let's define healing:
Healing is an on-going process in which a person excavates and examines pain from the past, contextualizes its power, and makes intentional, life-affirming, and healthy choices as a result.
When a person goes through the processes of healing, they no longer repeat the same habits as the past. Then their children grow up witnessing those new mindsets and behaviors, thus interrupting the cycle of trauma.
Tip 3- Healing is not a one time thing
Healing is not a one-time event or even a process with a definitive end. It is a practice. It is a ritual. It is work.
It is work to identify the habits that were born of survival and coping mechanisms. It is work to see how those habits-- both inherited and developed-- no longer serve a healthy future. It is work to recognize one's own inner child, to acknowledge her, to thank her for protection, and to give her permission to rest.
For many people, it is essential that this healing is done under the care of a trained professional because trauma can be complex.(2)
But each person has to decide whether the risk and discomfort of letting go of old habits and mindsets with the hope of a favorable outcome outweighs the familiarity of generational habits.
Tip 4- The role of ritual
Now that you understand the "what" and "why" of healing from generational curses, let's break down the "how."
I like to think about breaking generational curses and embodying self love with three different routes: practice, work, and ritual. Practice is the repeated habits that one engages in to learn a new skill. For example, most people don't come out of the womb knowing how to play basketball like LeBron James. It took him a certain amount of practice over time to master the game.
Self-healing comes from practice-- practicing new habits, practicing new mindsets, practicing new activities, practicing interacting with people, more importantly practicing interacting with one's self in a different way. It takes repetitive effort for new behavior and new thinking to become new habits.
This brings us to work. In Hoodoo and the conjuring traditions, we call many of our spiritual practices "work" because it is quite literally that. A person does not simply click their heels three times and every wish comes true. Bringing about change takes work to investigate both the mundane world as well as the spiritual world to see what materials are needed, what practices should be developed, what healing needs to be engaged, which intentions should be set, and what type of spiritual technologies need to be employed.
Even then, the work is not only in the divination, the prayer, the ancestor veneration, the preparation of tools; it's in the actual self healing and self love practice as well.
Finally, this brings us to ritual, my favorite. Ritual means a sequential pattern and tradition of doing work in a in a specific, intentional way. There are so many ways people engage in ritual, whether it be mundane or sacred. Ritual can be everything from the way a person connects to the spirit world through dance and music to the practices that one uses to cleanse, protect, and reverse. There are rituals to engage luck and abundance. And there are rituals for uncrossing one's self of the sabotage and barriers people have put up in their own paths. Rituals abound for every aspect of one's life, and they all require connecting one's self to the force and spiritual world beyond the individual.
Final Note:
It doesn't matter how rich a person is, how educated they are, or how adept they are at distancing themselves from the past. If generational curses aren't understood, healed, and replaced then avoidance will never allow them to truly disappear. What's buried alive won't stay dead.
The beautiful and hopeful truth through is that generational curses CAN be disrupted and healed, not only for one's self but for their ancestors and for their progeny.
2 https://yourexperiencesmatter.com/learning/trauma-stress/types-of-trauma/
Black Women and Witchcraft
On Aleia's Hot Take, I empower Black women on their journey for self love, healing, and liberation in 15 minutes or less. In episode 3, I discuss taboos, misconceptions, and the personal power of Black women in witchcraft. Read this article in honor of #HoodooHeritageMonth.
I was talking with one of my good friends today about a course I'm teaching, Free Your Spirit: Examining Roots, Fears, and Beliefs of Black Spiritual Practice. We shared how as women, we've been taught to fear being labeled a "witch." That led to me pondering where that fear comes from and what does that fear mean for those of us that call ourselves "witches" today.
I don't know about y'all, but when I was growing up, "witch" is what folks called the old woman in the neighborhood that people didn't know a lot about. It's what people called the woman that might have been a little bit peculiar and had certain ways about them (those "ways" usually being independence, shooting straight from the hip, sexually free, or generally unbothered with tradition). "Witch" was also used as a slur to talk about a woman who was either overly confident or who didn't follow societal norms. No matter which meaning, "witch" was always a bad word.
One doesn't have to look further than Hollywood, the movies, the costumes, and everything around us to see that "witch" is always seen as this dangerous thing. If a person grew up in the Black church (particularly evangelical sects), they especially heard all the reasons why witchcraft was demonic and why a person should be afraid of it. Heard that a person shouldn't play with cards or throw dice? It wasn't just because of the "evil" of gambling. It was because historically those mediums were used as divination tools and the Old Testament Bible frowns on that (see Leviticus). Even modern church leaders have taken to admonishing the use of sage, oils, and crystals (even though those are in the Bible too but folks don't read..).
What does “witch” even mean?
Let's breakdown what "witch" even means and why it's something so vilified and demonized. A "witch" coming from the Hoodoo religion (yes, RELIGION) means a person that is able to use the mundane elements of the world such as herbs, crystals, dirt, oils, threads, words, prayer, bones, paper, and more to affect change. It's about using the mundane as magic to change reality for ourselves and others. Sorcery. It's also about using those tools to heal one's self, their community, and Black people collectively. It's also about protection and retribution. Our ancestors gave us all the tools for survival and for thriving.
Why do folks get so mad at witchcraft?
If you've gotten this far, you might be thinking that being a witch doesn't sound like such a bad thing and wonder why there's such a stigma. Let me hip you to this. Lean in closely. Miss Celie taught us that, “Folks don't like nobody being too proud or too free." Because then they won't be needed and then, they can't control you. They pretend that it's because they don't believe a person should compete with YHWH, and anyone who could change the course of history and affect reality is doing just that.
However, if a person is coming from an Abrahamic religious background, they will see many instances in the Bible, Torah, Qur'an, and other texts about people who used natural elements around (herbs, medicines, etc.) to effect change. One doesn't have to look further than the story of Jesus' birth to see that he was visited by three magi bearing gold, frankincense, and myrrh. In doing cursory research on the original language and historical context about biblical magi, here are a few quotes:
"Originally they were a class of priests among the Persians and Medes who formed the kings privy council, and cultivated as trology, medicine and occult natural science. They are frequently referred to by ancient authors. Afterward the term was applied to all eastern philosophers." --Schaffs Popular Commentary.
"These wise men from Persia were the most like the Jews, in religion, of all nations in the world. They believed in one God, they had no idols, they worshipped light as the best symbol of God.” — Biblestudytools.com
These three "wise men" also followed the stars (*cough* astrology *cough*).
"I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it," Shug Avery declares. I make the same declaration about having powers, access to materials, and not use them. Our Ancestors endowed with knowledge and opportunity to care for ourselves, and it's our birthright to claim them. Black folks, particularly Black women and non-men, are too often afraid of being self-possessed and empowered. It becomes easier, safer, to abdicate control over one's life to an external source-- a distant god who acts on whims, the government, chance. Truly free people are able to work with their Ancestors, with divinity, with all the tools at their disposal to challenge power structures that seek to destroy, cripple, and subjugate. Any system that teaches using one's talents skills, and materials in order to sustain life and to protect one's self, is a "sin" should be seen as the complicit abuser and oppressor that it is.
My own journey
I remember when I was on my own journey, embracing who I am and what I am. I few years ago, I asked my Facebook friends what word should I call myself. Even though I hadn't been Christian for awhile, I was still afraid of the stigma of being associated with a term that was considered "dark," considered bad and evil. I had to do my own work to figure out why African derived beliefs are the only ones considered evil. Why "dark" magic is shown as inherently evil. I had to examine these messages and unshackle myself from a script that said, "This life soon be over, heaven last always" (Celie, The Color Purple). It was only then, that I could be completely free.
In wrapping this up, I want you to comment below about what were you taught about witches and what was so wrong with them. How does that compare to what you are believing now about systems of power and about what it means to be a black woman who is self-possessed and empowered?
Misa Hylton and Elevating Black Women
On Aleia's Hot Take, I empower Black women on their journey for self love, healing, and liberation in 15 minutes or less. In my inaugural episode, I discussed the Netflix show, The Remix, and the lessons I garnered from the iconic stylist, Misa Hylton.
MCM Rodeo Drive of Beverly Hills
Image Credit: © 2020, Aleia McDaniel
On Netflix, there's a documentary called The Remix about black women in the fashion industry. In particular it describes how hip-hop fashion ushered in a new culture in a way that was never been seen before. Some of us had heard the story of Dapper Dan, the story of Puffy and Bad Boy, and all of the role that all these artists of the early 90s late 80s reinvented the music game and fashion. But there were many women that were at the forefront that didn't get their shine, and the documentary explores their impact and why their names didn't become household names.
If you grew up at all in the 80s and 90s, you might have known Misa Hylton as Puffy's "Baby Mama" (come on, you know we called him Puff back then!) You might have known her as the platinum blonde girl with Puff in the jacuzzi during Biggie's "Big Poppa" video. What I didn't know was that Misa was the brains and the brilliance behind all the fashion seen during that era, responsible for everyone from Jodeci to Lil Kim and everything in between.
It's women like her that don't get their props. Black women are often the brainchild behind many accolades that are given to men, who get the glory and financial benefit.
Here are the lessons I learned from the inimitable Misa Hylton:
Lesson 1: You cannot be afraid to innovate
Misa tackled innovation head on. She took what were considered a men's industries-- fashion design and hip-hop music- and thought about how she could feminize it while maintaining edginess. She considered how she could use her eye for fashion to give voice to the artist she was styling, but also to the young girls that were the consumers. So literally birthed an era (and continues still) where women emulated the classy "round the way" look of Mary J. Blige, the unapologetic sexiness of Lil Kim, and even the defiant declarative Queen Bee herself (that MCM bustier in the "Apeshit" video? Yep, one of Misa's creations!)
Lesson 2: Playing safe won't protect you
So often Black women are taught how to play safe and how to "get along to go along." They are often afraid of ideating or innovating because they think that they won't be accepted. They think speaking up is going to rock the boat too much. They're afraid of naysayers and of the blowback. But when I look at how Misa dared to speak up for herself, to channel her art and vision in ways that no one else was able to do at the time, I see how she created a not just a trend, but a movement. Misa wasn't alone, but because of her and other that were key female innovators, many others learned how to use their voice and change the fashion and music industry.
So what does this mean for you?
Black women often shy away from praising themselves and telling the world about their offers, talents, and accomplishments. (Raising my hand because I do this too..). They mistakenly believe that the worlds operate as a meritocracy (spoiler alert: it doesn't)and that somehow they will be discovered, somehow they will be given their just desserts. The harsh reality is that if one doesn't elevate themselves, someone else will swoop in and take their ideas, take their knowledge, take their impact, repackaging it all for themselves.
I'm daring Black women to elevate themselves every single day.
That means YOU.
The reality is if you don't tell your story then someone is going to tell your story for you. Don't deny the world the impact of your voice and your unique self. If you're waiting for someone to decide that you are worthy, you will be 89 years old as a "woulda," "shoulda," "coulda."
Black women have so much power. So much power in their expertise, so much power with their money, so much power in their position. The more we elevate ourselves and each other, we can build our collective power as Black women.
That's my Hot Take.
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12 Must Read Books by Black Women
Over the past 12 weeks, I've found myself with more time to read than ever before.
Reading has always been my escape since I was 4 years old, and I've always loved to learn. My wife proudly wears a shirt that says, "I don't need Google. My wife knows everything."
She's right.
With everything that's going on from COVID and police violence, I want to share some books that are worth reading for your spiritual, emotional, and political growth.
I hope you find them helpful.
LMK, what book are you currently reading? Find anything helpful from the list?
In Liberation,
Aleia
******************************************************************************************
Spiritual Books
1. 
2.
3. 
4. 
Fiction Books
1.
Mama Day by Gloria Naylor2.
Paradise by Toni Morrison3.
Tumbling by Diane McKinney-Whetstone4.
Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler
Political Books
1.
Assata by Assata Shakur2.
Zami: A New Spelling of My Name by Audre Lorde3.
Aint I a Woman by bell hooks4.
But Some of Us Are Brave by Akasha Hull, Patricia Bell-Scott, and Barbara SmithFeel free to share this post with your friends!
14 Protection Tips for Coping with Racial Rage
Our self-care and self-love are imperative, during this time of police violence when Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, Sandra Bland and Ahmaud Arbery are killed with impunity.
BLACK LIVES MATTER!
Family,
My rage is strong and my hurt deep.
I'm not shocked nor surprised by what's going on.
I have no more betrayal left to feel.
I channeled what few words I could in this Medium article here. And I've vocalized my thoughts on my personal Facebook page.
I've demanded reparations, and I've circled the wagons about who is and is not my friend.
I've also managed to care for myself through this because I refuse to let the stress and anger of being Black in America consume me.
My family needs me, you need me, we all need WE to be well enough to fight.
Our self-care and self-love are imperative, during this time of police violence when Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, Sandra Bland and Ahmaud Arbery are killed with impunity.
Here are 14 Best Tips for Wellness and Protection
The Mundane
Get some physical protection. Learn how to use it. Teach your children how to use it. If you are uncomfortable with firearms, there are machetes, blades, etc.
Ensure your will is updated and your estate is in order. Consult a reputable lawyer or consider online resources.
Demand reparations from whyte people*. Hold them accountable.* Here's how I did it here and here. (yeah, we gotta be FB friends. Add me!)
Teach your children the unapologetic, unadulterated truth. Learn it yourself. Here are three of my faves: Aint I A Woman, Mojo Workin', and From Slavery to Freedom.
Learn about the symptoms of PTSD and childhood trauma. Find a Black therapist. Learn how to soothe your child when they present symptoms. Find them a therapist too. Here's a guide.
Move your body. Work out the tight, anxious, energy.
Eat well. Nutritious, delicious, comforting, healing foods.
Stop focusing on proving your humanity and respectability to white folks. Choose the names you love. Wear your hair in the way that brings you joy. Take up space. Use your voice. Wear what you want.
Take a social media fast. Trust me, no one will think you're less "woke" for resting your mind and spirit. This has been hugely powerful for me. (Thank you Toni for recommending!)
The Spiritual
Learn about herbs for protection**. Research their properties as well as how to use them. Be cautious and pay attention to toxicity levels as well.
Erect an ancestor altar and speak to your people. There are many traditions and styles to choose from. We talked about some basics in Sister Space last week. Why weren't you there???
Get a divination. I now offer them myself and you can click here to schedule your spiritual reading.
Take a spiritual bath. Using salt is the most basic and easy mineral for protection. Research different types and how to use them. Check out the free guide below for Spiritual Tools by Black Women.
Bathe your space with healing sound and laughter. Think about sounds that are relaxing to you or binaural beats that are synced to the desired mood. There are tons of articles out there and playlists on Apple Music or Spotify.
Please, please, please forward this to other Black Women who need to read this.
Print this out and refer to it regularly.
Notes:
* If you are uncomfortable, examine why. Do the inner work to see what your beliefs are and where they come from. Then do the inner work to transform. Schedule a session with me.
** DO NOT cherry pick from traditions that do not come from your blood lineage. If your family did not smudge with sage and you're not Native American, do not smudge with sage.
That was a LOT!
Tell me, which tip are YOU using?
Black Lives Matter!
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Join the movement for cultivating the life of your dreams with spiritual practice, manifestation, and wellness work
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On Queen & Slim: 3 Lessons on Liberation
One of the best pieces of advice I ever got about life came after I held a faculty meeting after yet another cop shooting.
I needed our staff to be aware how kids would demonstrate their trauma, and I needed a safe space for adults to process their own. Mine included.
I searched for the words to articulate the depths of sorrow and fear, hurt and anger that many of our Black and Brown children would feel, that I felt. I needed my staff to know that these emotions were visceral and real.
One Black male teacher gave me the strength that I would carry, not only in that moment, but for the rest of my life.
He said, “I have no fear because if I were to die today, it would be on my feet. I choose to live until I die.”
I was catapulted to the words I inscribed on my senior yearbook page from “Freedom,” the title song of the movie, Panther:
We will not bow down to, uh huh, racism.
We will not bow down to, injustice.
We will not bow down to, exploitation.
I’m gon’ stand.
I’m gon’ stand.
I recall these words as I witnessed the beauty and sorrow of Queen & Slim.
At first, I wanted to avoid this movie because I couldn’t bear to see another Black body slain in the streets. I’m exhausted of our lives being reduced to a hashtag or another unsolved mystery. I’ve known too many beautiful brown bodies lost to violence, and murder stopped being casual entertainment for me long ago. When one of us falls, I feel it deep in my soul, and I’m soul tired.
Yet I felt compelled to see this film. I needed to see a film where we fight back, where we dare to be free. I needed to see us shirking respectability and the thought that our politeness, education, skin color, or connection with Jesus would render us safe from being cut down at the knees. And if truth be told, a part of me was embarrassed at my own ability to “tune out” violence because it’s uncomfortable and inconvenient to me.
Had I come so far from cowering on my bedroom floor when a crazed neighbor shot at our house? Or when the police waved his long gun in my face when I was hiding under blankets in my mother’s room? Or when I counted the number and caliber of gunshots as if they were thunder, gauging how far and how dangerous they were?
My spirit beckoned me to see the film Queen & Slim myself and not rely on others’ experience of the movie.
It was hard. It was ugly. It was beautiful. It was complicated. It was triggering.
And I’m glad I saw it.
What I gained was affirmation far beyond the controversies of what types of Black movies Hollywood will green light, if Lena Waithe is “woke” enough, whether the intentions of the film harms or hurts us.
What I gained were lessons on liberation.
Liberation Lesson 1: Liberation can’t be earned.
In the film, we see Slim (Ernest) and Queen (Angela) do everything “right,” yet they are still slain in the literal and proverbial street. They were educated. They were calm. They were drug free. And that didn’t save them. Through their journey, they connected with the parts of themselves that they had suppressed on the road to being acceptable Blacks. The down home parts. The “hood” parts. The free parts. We saw them shed respectability as they danced to the blues in the juke joints, consorted with sex workers, feasted on fried catfish. We saw that as they shed respectability, they were conversely seen, honored, and loved.
Through Queen & Slim, the audience learns that freedom isn’t about seeking acceptance. It’s reaching into the Blackest parts of you. It’s reaching into the broken parts of you. It’s reaching into the beautiful parts of you. It’s stringing all of those parts together in a slow grind in a country juke joint. It’s rolling all of those melodies in a wild, funky bounce song. It’s chopping and screwing all of those pieces together into a grove that vibrates with the ancestors and the ones yet unborn.
When was the last time you were free? When was the last time that you realized your clothes, your car, your career, your manners, your respectability won’t save you? When was the last time you stopped running and decided to bathe into the deepest parts of you?
Liberation Lesson 2: Titles and demographics aren’t enough to describe who is for and who is against you.
In the film, we witness a myriad of people come to the aid of Slim and Queen, often different than to be expected. We see brown police officers — literal agents of the state and “blue brothers” of the crooked cop who set the whole movie into motion — orchestrate Slim and Queen’s escape from the safe house and beseech Junior to leave the protest. We see society’s cast offs — pimps in outdated Sean Jean suits, fat kids playing unsupervised outside, Black women with gold teeth serving hard liquor, scarred veterans with bitter wives — come to the aid of our protagonists. At the same time, the ones who would be typically called kinfolk are the ones who admonish and sell Slim and Queen out.
This very lesson is Black America’s dirty little secret. We know the enemy “out there,” systematic racism and patriarchy. We know the obvious agents and overt ways that we are silenced and held back from our full potential. What we never count on and what steals our breath is our very skinfolk who bring irreversible psychological and physical harm. The uncles, cousins, and family friends who rape. The church folk who scorn and vilify. The Black soccer mom who pretends to not see you. The online coach who steals your money.
So what’s the lesson here? It’s the old adage that actions speak louder than words. Skin color isn’t enough to call someone your brother or sister. Beyond shared heritage, kin are those willing to exist and behave beyond their own trauma so as to not cause more harm. We see that in the film through the allies hiding in plain sight. In the uniform. Under the counter.
Is this all simplistic? Maybe. Easy? Not at all.
Liberation Lesson 3: The stories of our elders code the truth to our liberation.
When I was a pre-teen, I had the honor of being a member of Sisters of Tomorrow, a pan-African cadre of young women undergoing traditional rites of passage. Through our process, I was introduced to Virginia Hamilton’s The People Could Fly. It’s the re-telling of Black folklore describing how our enslaved ancestors took flight back to Africa, a parallel version of our ancestor’s escape at Igbo Landing as recounted in Julie Dash’s Daughters of Dust.
In Queen & Slim, we see this story brought to life and to truth, both in the way the title characters die and in the way they journeyed. The goal of flying to Cuba was homage to how Sister Assata “flew” in escape, and how we theorize the way Tupac absconded there by a fictitious death. Perhaps at the end, Slim and Queen did take flight. Just like our ancestors took flight from the plantations. Just rose up and flew back to Africa, they say.
It’s no accident that Slim and Queen return through the south in order to get free. They journeyed back to our home in this country, and I wept as the scene opened to the Tremé neighborhood in New Orleans. I thought of how many of us were lynched in those woods and drowned in those bayous and gunned down in the streets and broken down in the slow murder of time. Slim and Queen needed to return to the South to reclaim their past and subsequently their liberation- Sankofa- representing how the Great Migration is now reversing as so many of us are now seeking connection and freedom.
What’s the point of these liberation lessons? They are a reminder that art imitates life — complicated and problematic, affirming and liberating — all depending on your place in your personal journey. Queen & Slim is a movie I recommend, even if you need to eat the meat to spit out the bones.
Article originally appears on Medium
7 Things to Know About Manifesting
This weekend I crossed Kappa Theta Epsilon Sorority, Incorporated and was reminded of a bucket list I created on my old blog to last 1001 days beginning, 1/1/11 (see how those 11’s keep showing up??). I went back to visit that list and realized I accomplished over 60% of my goals. [Scroll down to see which ones]
This weekend I crossed Kappa Theta Epsilon Sorority, Incorporated and was reminded of a bucket list I created on my old blog to last 1001 days beginning, 1/1/11 (see how those 11’s keep showing up??). I went back to visit that list and realized I accomplished over 60% of my goals.
More than the accomplishing and the success, I'm reminded once again of the power of manifestation. Not just manifesting things and prosperity, though there's nothing wrong AT ALL for desiring a life of ease and pleasure-- but manifesting experiences, feelings, and belongings that are spiritually aligned with one's integrity and values.
What do you want to learn most about manifesting?
Here's 7 truths I've discovered along the way:
You can't have true fulfillment until you really understand yourself.
When you know yourself-- your values, your joy, your gifts, your boundaries, your pleasure sources-- you are able to notice and invite in more that aligns to your being.
To understand who you are, you have to peel back the layers that were defined by and in reaction to others.
You have to be willing to lose to gain.
Your intuition and instinct are two of the most useful tools on this journey.
To tap into your intuition and instinct, you have to understand your feelings and how your body signals them.
You CAN have it all. And you deserve it, too.
If you are ready to overcome lack, frustration, and pain and discover the manifestor that already lives inside you, I invite you to download in Vision Boards Masterclass! See details below.
Do you have an urgent, persistent desire for more security, peace, and ease, but you haven’t done any manifestation work because:
- You don't know how to get started
- You don't have the time to do elaborate work and processes
- You're not trying to "play God" or "play WITH God" in effecting change
- You don't want to seem ungrateful for the blessings you currently have
Then Manifestation 101: A How-To Guide is just for you. This ebook walks you through the step-by-step process of creating the love, abundance, and desires of your heart.
Steps such as:
1. How to clear your space
2. How to set the right, aligned intentions
3. Which rituals to use
And more.
Pick up Manifestation 101: A How-To Guide to co-create the life you desire and deserve.
What have you found to be true with manifestation?
If you're ready to jumpstart your spiritual journey and manifest the life you desire, I invite you to enroll in the Divinity School for Spiritual Activation!
Why You Should Ditch Your Friends
Check out this Periscope Replay about why I eventually had to cut certain people out of my life… and why YOU should, too.
Check out this Periscope Replay about why I eventually had to cut certain people out of my life… and why YOU should, too.
What IS Self-Love Anyway: 6 Key Ingredients
In this era of “stuntin’ for the ‘Gram,” it’s easy to get it twisted about what self-care and self-love really is. Self-care is a symptom of self-love. It isn't just pedicures, luxuries, and vacations, though those certainly can be side effects of it, given your circumstances.
In this era of “stuntin’ for the ‘Gram,” it’s easy to get it twisted about what self-care and self-love really is. Self-care is a symptom of self-love. It isn't just pedicures, luxuries, and vacations, though those certainly can be side effects of it, given your circumstances.
In this video, I walk through the key components of self-love AND give you some guidance about where to get started.
Self love means:
💋 Embracing your pleasure, free from rules
💋 Choosing joy, by your own definition
💋 Enforcing boundaries, against all that doesn't serve you
💋 Owning your voice, not apologizing for it
💋 Forgiving yourself, for ever thinking that you were too much and not enough
💋 Allowing your own humanity, accepting lessons and quirks
So, how do you define it?
Have you found yourself burned out with no time, money, or resources to care for your self?
Do you find yourself irritable with others and just want to escape?
Do you know that self-care is important but you’re not sure how to get started or keep going?
Get these practical tips, journal reflections, and information to jump start a better relationship with you!
Self care doesn’t have to be a labor intensive, time-sucking, costly endeavor. Learn solutions for:
Finally honoring and prioritizing yourself
Overcoming the guilt of asking for what you need
Setting practical goals
Unpacking and solving the stresses of your life
And more!
Complete purchase for the digital version. Order the paperback here https://amzn.to/3NzalQq
If you're ready to jumpstart your spiritual journey and manifest the life you desire, I invite you to enroll in Divinity School for Spiritual Activation!